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32 Comments

  1. What a lovely read. Every mom has felt that guilty pull, berating herself and wondering how she could’ve lost her temper or not been the mom she wanted to be. I truly believe it’s in accepting, acknowledging and apologizing for this that sets an even better example of what a parent can be.

  2. Having adopted three little girls and becoming a mom overnight… and still after 13 months trying to figure this mom thing out…. I am in tears… reading your post…. you nailed it… and I will read this to my girls…. thank you for putting into words… my heart.

  3. Jo Greenwood says:

    Wow! I feel utterly compelled to comment – What a lovely, heartwarming, uplifting read! It’s nailed exactly how I feel about my own precious daughter, I hope you don’t mind if I unashamedly plaguerise your heartfelt words as a gift to my darling girl!! Enjoy your travels! With love and warm wishes to you and your family, Jo, Bath, UK

  4. This could not have come at a better time that today. As I was driving my children to their school today, I kept thinking that I am failing as a mom and a wife. It is funny how in my heart and in my head there are two different though processes going on. I know that I am a good mom and my kids adore my husband and I more than anything, but I still have the heavy feeling of failing in so many ways. I am not perfect, nor do I strive to be so. I strive to feel guilt-free. I strive to give the best of myself and not beat myself up for the things I do ‘wrong’ or don’t do. Rather, I should be concentrating on feeling greatful for all the positive things as well as negative experiences I have, for this is how I truly am whole. It takes both positive and negative to make a whole person. I just needed reminding today that I AM a good, no GREAT mama to my children. Thank you for sharing this letter.

  5. WOW! This letter was awesome!I raised 3 children, went through a divorce when the oldest was 12 and the youngest was 6. I made mistakes. I was young when I was married (16) and young when I had my children. I had a lot of growing up to do. I married the man of my dreams and together we adopted 4 more children from the foster system. Everything I thought I knew and remembered how to do this. However, these children are different in the fact that they have seen what a lot of adults have not seen or experienced. They act out. They misbehave more than the average child. They are wonderful and resilient and beautiful and need even more love. Some days I screw that up too. I look at other parents and think they are all doing wonderful and great and it is only me who screws up. This letter was amazing! It made me realize maybe other parents screw up too. I have been trying to change, to figure this out. I have taken a gazillion classes, Just to learn what one of them is experiencing. Then they change. They acting out changes. It affects the whole family, so then I am back to square one. But I AM willing to keep learning, to keep improving and to always cheer them on, to love them and to be in their corner always. It’s my vows to them. It’s my promise to them. So thank you again for this letter. Thank you for seeing it is natural, it is acceptable. Learning to say I’m sorry to our kids is sometimes hard, but so important.

  6. Tammisha Morris says:

    Beautiful!!!

  7. Not Mom of the Year says:

    Exact words for the way I feel. Beautiful read.. Thank you for sharing.

  8. I’m in tears after reading this. I’m a single mom to two daughters and I struggle with anxiety…unfortunately it spills over to my children more often then I’d like it too (and I’m seeking help to combat this) . I just want to say thank you for this, maybe I’m not such a terrible mother after all.

  9. Christina says:

    So beautiful and true. Makes me cry, which I tend to do lot lately. That’s what happens when your heart is so full it has to open to make room for all the love you have for your children, which also makes it vulnerable when we aren’t “perfect”. I cry myself to sleep once in a while because I know I could’ve done better in the most important job I’ll ever have – raising human beings. You said it perfectly and thank you for sharing your vulnerability with other moms as this let’s us know that no mom is perfect but we are in it wholeheartedly!

  10. Hi Jess
    My name is Vijaya. I usually read a lot of parenting columns. But, what you wrote here just made me feel soo grateful to you in lot many ways.
    You just gave perfect words to all the feelings within me that I feel for my precious little girl.
    Simply superb!!

  11. I love this! It’s such an intimate letter to our children. We put immense pressure on ourselves to be perfect, but we have to remind ourselves that they see us as perfect already.

  12. This is soo true..You have defined the whole situation so nicely

  13. Beautifull, exactly how im feeling rite now.
    Still trying to be best mom to my three boys.

  14. I just broke down while reading that… because that is EXACTLY how I feel. Thank you for sharing and helping me realize that I’m not alone in this battle of motherhood. I need to print this out and keep next to my bed and read every morning. Thank you.

  15. Heartening! Jess, you have put the heart of every mom into words. And there could have been nothing better! Thanks for this.

  16. brought tears to my eyes, because it seems as though my inner thoughts were revealed..

  17. How heartwarming! This is something all moms should want to tell their children. Days may be hard, but staying positive and acknowledging you aren’t perfect will show your kids wonders when they know how much you love them. This self love and empowerment is exactly what we embody at Yourself Truly and what we want all women to feel.

  18. So good, thank you! My 3 daughters are all grown and two of them are young mothers. I’m going to share this with them. I think rheres no way we can’t feel like we’re failing as parents because of the often overwhelming responsibility for a child’s life. Being imperfect is part of our human nature and your letter captures that so eloquently. I was in my late twenties, mother of two at the time, when I began chanting this mantra in my head as I tried to be present and prioritize what was important with a very ‘lived in’ house and two delightful little beings that needed attention: Do your best and leave the rest. I’m always touched when people like you are parents, your children will thrive as they grow up and as adults!

  19. Beautiful. I am in awe of your exacting use of words to describe what it is to be a Mom. My daughters are young adults. If it is okay, I would like to borrow a few of your words and write them letters. It’s is so hard to be a parent even when they are older– I do love them with all of my heart. Thank you.

  20. That really sums up being a mum what a brutally honest and real account of how many of us feel everyday lovely read thanks for sharing!

  21. Beautiful! I cannot believe how pretty much every word resonated with my heart. Thank you for putting into words what is in my heart and mind most days.

  22. I loved this! What a great reminder that ALL mothers need to hear! Now following you on Pinterest and pinning many more of your awesome blog articles to go along with this one!

  23. Crystal Shawver says:

    I am currently struggling with guilt and fear of failing as a mom with my 11year old and 8 year old. Thank you for this blog. Prayers are appreciated ?

  24. oh sweet heart. Obviously, you need one more toddler to keep attention on him/her. Very lovely story you wrote.

  25. Great read. I can promise you that as a Dad I feel the same way. Incredibly proud of the effort that my wife makes to try and be everything a “modern” woman is expected to be. She does an amazing job, even though she constantly questions herself.

  26. Wow… it’s like my heart wrote this for my own beautiful babies. Thank you for these words. I want to read them to my three kids every day to remind them that I am not perfect, but my love for them is so pure. Truly, I can’t put into words how close I feel to these words!

  27. Jessica Rodriguez says:

    I am a mom of 3 32,29,and 18 . Our 18 year old passed away in 2015. I failed him in life and I am failing him now! I have failed my 29 year old son with lack of support with his job and now I am stuck with this feeling of just complete failure. I do what I can ,but it seems to never be enough. I hold back with suggestions or and kind of words ,because I don’t want to step on any toes :he is 29 but he will always be my big boy. I failed my 18 old I could not save his life and now my 29 year is struggling with his job and it kills me to see him teary eyed.

  28. Feeling tonight as if I’m failing my daughter..I googled and came across this great read! I needed this so much tonight!!

  29. Thank you for this. I feel the heavyness of being a better parent every day. I worry every day that my kids will have to suffer through anxiety like me. This was a nice reminder that it’s important to remind our kids to embrace ourselves and not judge ourselves. Thank you

  30. Thank you so much for this! It truly captures all I am feeling while watching my children grow. Everyday I have moments of failure but there are also some successes too. I pray each day that the successes “stick”.