My girl Abby just turned five on Saturday. Five!
The typical birthday party for her group of friends from school is:
- Everyone meets at a park.
- The parents stand around making awkward small talk while the kids run around crazy.
- At some point, you pull out cupcakes – getting the kids messy and amping up the craziness.
Maybe this makes me a bad parent, but I hate those parties. As we’re driving to them, I always have an internal debate on how short a time I can get away with staying. Two hours? One hour? I’m not above bribing the girl to get her to leave early.
So to make this birthday special and avoid perpetuating the birthday party drag for other parents, we gave into Abby’s requests for a sleepover party.
We said she could invite two other girls from her class. We could manage three girls. That was definitely doable.
But then she said, what about so-and-so? Can I invite her? And we said, sure – what’s one more girl?
And then it was, oh but I really want to invite her too! Pretty please? Heck, the girl only turns five once.
In the end, we invited five girls. Not everyone would be able to make it, after all.
The First Reply
Mom #1 replied within the hour. Can I bring so-and-so’s older sister too? What kind of brute would deny a sisterly bonding opportunity? I said of course!
Mom #2: Yes.
Mom #3: Wow, you’re brave! Yes.
Mom #4: Count us in!
Mom #5. No response.
Okay, we told ourselves. Six girls total. We can do this. It’s just for one night.
Then the day before the sleepover, we got an email. Mom #5 had forwarded the message to Dad #5 who’d have their girl that weekend. Girl #5 was in too.
A Fatal Error in Judgement (Or Two)
When you send an invite for an adult party, you never get 100% acceptance. But what didn’t dawn on us before sending the invite was this: we were offering up a FREE NIGHT OF BABYSITTING. Of course everyone was going to accept.
Lesson learned.
Our other fatal error? Assuming all Abby’s friends from school behave about the same as Abby.
Now, Abby is no perfect angel. I don’t think they make 5-year-olds in that flavor.
And I’m not saying that the other girls were Bratticus Rex. Some of the girls were on their best behavior. But we weren’t quite prepared for the other ones…
1. On Whining
I’ve shared my thoughts on whining before. It’s a natural inclination for kids to whine when they aren’t getting what they want.
But you know what else is natural? Kids crapping their pants.
One little girl whined about EVERYTHING.
She didn’t like the movie Brave, she didn’t want strawberry cupcakes (which happened to be the best I’ve ever tasted), the wood floor was too slippery, she didn’t like the dress she was wearing, someone called her a crybaby (imagine my shock), she didn’t want to go to bed, she wanted to sleep next to so-and-so but still wanted to be in the middle of the bed – and on and on and on.
PLEASE. MAKE IT STOP.
2. On Listening
A handful of the girls got a kick out of running up and down our stairs. I kept an eye on them every now and then to make sure everyone had mastered the art of stairs, and they seemed fine. But as the night went on, their crazy meter spiked.
At one point, I was standing at the top of the stairs, watching a procession of girls run down the stairs. One particularly rambunctious girl lost her footing and started tumbling head first down the stairs.
I nearly had a heart attack. Visions of broken necks and lawsuits flashed in front of me. The girl was fine, but I couldn’t take a chance on it happening again.
So I corralled all the girls back upstairs and grabbed a baby gate from the closet to put at the top of the stairs.
Picture me, 7 months pregnant, standing at the top of the stairs, trying to maneuver a cheap baby gate closed. You know, one of those baby gates that won’t close until you pull it out from the wall, and then it closes perfectly – but the minute you put it back in position, it gets stuck with the bar halfway up.
The girl who tumbled down the stairs walks to where I am. We’ll call her Drusilla.
Drusilla tries to pull the baby gate, which is currently being held up by me, away from the wall so she can squeeze through and go back downstairs.
Me: “You may not go downstairs. We’re staying upstairs now.”
Drusilla looks at me with an impish smile. And shoves me.
I lose my grip on the baby gate, and it tumbles down the stairs. A fleeting thought registers that I’m glad the baby gate went down and not me.
And then that fleeting thought turns to anger. She PUSHED me. A grown-ass adult.
So just as she’s starting to head down the stairs after the baby gate, I pick her up under her armpits and carry her to the next room – even though I’m not exactly supposed to be dead-lifting 40 lbs at the moment.
Luckily, in the time I carried Drusilla away from the stairs, my partner had already rescued the baby gate from downstairs and got it back in place.
Here’s what hit me later, after the adrenaline dissipated: Generally, kids listen to direct requests from adults they don’t know very well – even BETTER than when they’re with their parents. This wasn’t the first instance that night that Drusilla disobeyed a direct, clear order. If she didn’t listen to us at all, I hope that doesn’t mean she NEVER listens to her parents.
Speaking of parents…
3. On Nosiness
One dad showed up to drop off his girl, and as soon as she ran off to play, he said, “My training is in architecture, do you mind if I have a look around?”
Me: “Sure.”
Usually when someone asks that, they wait for a tour by the homeowner. But no.
The dad started wandering through the house before I could catch up to him. Into our master bedroom and bathroom (which I hadn’t exactly cleaned for touring purposes before the party), downstairs where no one else was at the moment, opening hall closets, into the laundry room – EVERYWHERE.
Really?
4. On Timeliness
We told all the parents the kids would be ready to pick up at 9:00 am on Sunday morning. By 10:00 am, we still had three unclaimed girls in the house.
I got a phone call at 10:15 from a dad:
“Hi Kelly, I’m just now waking up. It’s going to take me about 45 minutes to wake up all the way, and then I need to grab some coffee. Is 11:00 or 11:30 okay?”
Me: “Actually, we have lunch plans, so 11:00 would work best so we aren’t late.”
“Okay, see you then.”
Then at 10:30, I get a text from a mom:
“We’re running a little late.”
Me: “We have plans for lunch, when do you think you’ll be here?”
“15 minutes or less.”
Me: “Sounds good.”
The mom didn’t show up til 11:00.
Dad called again at 11:05:
“There are lots of broken down cars today, and traffic’s really bad. I just wanted to let you know I’m running late.”
Me: “When do you think you’ll be here?”
“Maybe 15 minutes.”
45 minutes later, he pulls into our driveway. We had that girl all packed up and ready to go, so we shoved her out the door before he even got to our front porch.
Did You Guess?
The girl who didn’t listen and the one who wasn’t happy with anything? Their parents were the late ones.
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Your Turn
Got any kid sleepover horror stories? Let’s commiserate in the comments below.
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30 Comments on "4 Things I Learned From My First Sleepover"
omigod. i will NEVER host a sleepover. or…maybe not until my kids are in their teens. i can only imagine you needed a couple days of vacation to recover from that.
Lori, you hit the nail on the head! On Monday as I was driving into work, I felt like I needed another weekend to recover.
Yeah … note to self: Remember Kelly Holmes’ sleepover party experience.
Yes, yes, please do! I like Stephanie’s version of a “sleepover.” I will definitely just do one-girl sleepovers from here forward!
OMG at that little shit who pushed you. We have had one of Ryan’s friends “sleep over,” and by that I mean they both go to sleep together while we’re watching him as his parents see a movie or something, and they pick him up late at night. That’s as close as I’ve gotten to a real sleepover. Also, please tell me you put a camera somewhere to record Tyler’s reactions to all of this.
Ah, I only wish I’d set up a camera! Tyler was downstairs when he heard the baby gate come crashing down, and the look on his face when he came around the corner to look up the stairs was….priceless.
Oh, here’s a fun tidbit – We went to a birthday party for one of Abby’s friends this weekend, and Drusilla and her parents showed up. When her mom walked in, she wouldn’t look me in the eye. So either she came across this blog post (unlikely) or lovely little Drusilla told her something of what happened that night. Ha!
I’m fairly certain the parents of all the children at the
sleepover have read this blog post. I was given the link and my child wasn’t
even there. I get that you are trying to be witty and entertaining, but that shouldn’t come at the expense of the feelings of the parents who entrusted their children to you.
Feelings? Personally, I’d want to know if my kid was misbehaving in someone’s home. They would be very sorry.
People have the right to vent – this was clearly not directed at anyone specifically but just someone sharing their frustrations of other people’s kids and their insane parents. It always comes as a shock to realise that no one else parents like you do, that no one seems to have the same rules or values that you do, that other kids behave in insane ways, and that other adults behave in even more insane ways. I’m glad you wrote your story- I needed it right now.
Annette, oh my goodness. Your comment took me right back to that night. They wouldn’t sleep! I’m definitely going with your approach next time – one kid per sleepover.
Parents who are upset about this post probably have one or more children who act inappropriately most of their waking hours. If my children acted like this at your house, I would be utterly embarrassed as it would be a direct reflection of my parenting skills. Instead of being mad at your post, they should take this as an opportunity to make sure their children know how to act and be respectful in public…..instead of making excuses as to why the children are hellions.
Katie, thank you for taking the time to leave an encouraging comment. This happened a little while ago, but I still look back and wonder why I thought that many girls was a good idea!
On the flip side, seeing how well-behaved my daughter is in comparison to some of her friends, I am thanking the heavens that she is my girl!!!!!!! And my kid is diagnosed ADHD!
that really helped me thank you so much
So happy to hear that! Thank you for stopping by. 🙂
Jess, well that was a close one! I’m glad this jogged your memory to sleepovers of yesteryear so you were able to change your plans. 🙂
Thank YOU for the chuckle this afternoon. I loved the image of you scribbling out “sleepover” and tearing the paper!!
Oh man! I feel for you, mama. It made me smile to see that you managed to find some small silver lining though. 🙂 Hope you’ve recovered from your sleepover drama!
I guess my mum is
Lucky I’m 12! Imagine her trouble
I just had a sleepover for my 7 year old. She invited 3 girls.At 11pm after winging and winning about everything…want lights no lights….home sick…i simply told the girls that i would be happy to call their parents to take them home and so i did!
I was shocked to find out just how manipulative and annoying other people kids are!
I guess, when you are friends with their parents you are me forgiving….