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30 Hidden Signs of Anxiety in Children That You Need to Know

Inside: Worried your child may have anxiety? Use this anxiety in children symptoms checklist.

One of my children was recently diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, and I didn’t see it coming.

I knew my child struggled in certain situations, but I didn’t think she had anxiety.

That day we got home from the doctor’s office after hearing the diagnosis, I went straight to my closet, shut the door, curled up in the corner, and fell apart.

How did I miss it?

Bonus: As a bonus for joining my weekly newsletter, download a free checklist to help you watch for these hidden signs of anxiety in your child.

This Is Why

Months after my daughter’s diagnosis, I still feel guilty that I didn’t see the signs earlier.

The truth is that you never think it will happen to your child.

Maybe you’ve read about how anxiety disorders are one of the most common health issues for kids and adolescents these days…but that doesn’t apply to your child.

Sure, your child may struggle a bit in certain situations – maybe they have a hard time falling asleep at night or get extra nervous about tests at school or worry about making friends (and keeping friends) – but that’s just part of childhood, right?

30 hidden signs of anxiety in children + a child anxiety checklistPhoto by Capture Queen

But Here’s What I Learned the Hard Way

Every child experiences anxious feelings, so yes, that is just part of childhood. But sometimes, those anxious feelings are a sign of an underlying anxiety disorder.

…

Kelly Holmes

I’m a mom of four, a Certified Parent Educator, and the author of Happy You, Happy Family. I believe if you want to nurture a loving parent-child relationship that will last into the teenage years and beyond, the time for nurturing that kind of relationship is now. As a bonus for joining my weekly newsletter, download my free cheat sheet of 75 Positive Phrases Every Child Needs to Hear, plus three important pitfalls to avoid when encouraging your child with positive phrases.

happyyouhappyfamily.com/

30 Hidden Signs of Anxiety in Children That You Need to KnowRead More

The Best Questions to Ask Your Kid Instead of “How Was Your Day?”

Inside: Stop asking your kid “How was your day?” because it doesn’t work anyway. Here are the best questions for kids that will actually foster a fun conversation.

Every evening at the dinner table, my husband and I used to fall into this age-old parenting trap.

“How was your day?”
“Fine.”

“What did you learn today?”
“Nothing.”

“Who did you play with at recess?”
“No one.”

But one-word answers don’t foster a good discussion, and they certainly don’t help us reconnect with our kids after a long day apart from each other.

And yet, it’s absolutely essential that we do reconnect because if we don’t, we pay the price later.

When we’re all feeling connected, the kids jump in to help clean up after dinner – without being asked. They pay attention the first time we ask them to brush their teeth and get jammies on. When we tuck them into bed, they’re all giggles and smiles.

But when we’re all feeling disconnected? We get less cooperation, more power struggles, and grumbles and grimaces at bedtime instead.

The best questions for kids that will actually get your child talking about their day

What If We Asked Our Kids Better Questions?

I realized I needed to solve the problem of one-word responses so we could have a family conversation that leaves everyone’s connection tank overflowing.

But as busy parents, we’re too exhausted to be creative and come up with questions to ask kids that will get a real, meaningful conversation going. So my first step was to find the best questions for kids that actually work at getting your kids to open up.

…

Kelly Holmes

I’m a mom of four, a Certified Parent Educator, and the author of Happy You, Happy Family. I believe if you want to nurture a loving parent-child relationship that will last into the teenage years and beyond, the time for nurturing that kind of relationship is now. As a bonus for joining my weekly newsletter, download my free cheat sheet of 75 Positive Phrases Every Child Needs to Hear, plus three important pitfalls to avoid when encouraging your child with positive phrases.

happyyouhappyfamily.com/

The Best Questions to Ask Your Kid Instead of “How Was Your Day?”Read More

The Ultimate List of the Best Children’s Books About Kindness

Inside: Reading these children’s books about kindness will teach your child to be a kind and compassionate person. Add these titles to your collection of the best picture books.

As parents, we want to raise kids who grow up to be kind and compassionate and maybe even thoughtful enough to return their grocery store cart to the parking lot corral.

Thankfully, research shows that kids act with kindness and compassion from a very early age – before we ever try to teach them to be kind. For example:

  • Babies as young as six months old show a clear preference for kind and helpful behavior as opposed to mean behavior.
  • 3-year-olds can actually be great about sharing prized toys with their friends.
  • When given the opportunity to be kind to others, kids feel happier than if they’re doing something that just benefits them alone.

Bonus: Download these free conversation starters that will help raise your kids to be kind.

But Then, Something Happens…

Between the time we see our toddlers’ first sprout of compassion and the time we send our sweet kiddos off to school:

“Research shows that as they enter school around age five or so, children shift away from their innate altruism toward selfishness.”
– Washington Post

But…why five? Why do parents and teachers tend to see a change in kids’ behavior around this timeframe?

Because that’s when your child is thrown into a big group with other kids, and herd mentality isn’t always a pretty sight. Kids start teasing other kids. Showing aggression. Bullying.

This is when kids’ innate kindness is put to a real-life test.

…

Kelly Holmes

I’m a mom of four, a Certified Parent Educator, and the author of Happy You, Happy Family. I believe if you want to nurture a loving parent-child relationship that will last into the teenage years and beyond, the time for nurturing that kind of relationship is now. As a bonus for joining my weekly newsletter, download my free cheat sheet of 75 Positive Phrases Every Child Needs to Hear, plus three important pitfalls to avoid when encouraging your child with positive phrases.

happyyouhappyfamily.com/

The Ultimate List of the Best Children’s Books About KindnessRead More

Want to Raise Smart, Kind Kids? Science Says Do This Every Day

Inside: When it comes to raising smart kids who are kind, you need this powerful but simple habit. It’s completely free, it takes just 10 or 15 minutes a day, and anyone can do it.

As parents, we have big dreams for our kids.

We want them to be smart so they can go after what they want in life and have a reasonable chance of getting it. We want them to grow up to be kind, caring members of the community. And it would be nice if they also turned out to be the type of people who remember to signal before turns.

That’s a tall order. Especially when I consider the day a success if I remember to brush all my kids’ teeth twice a day.

And yet, now is the time to set our kids up for success in life. Short of morphing into a drill sergeant who fills every spare moment with flashcards and forced kindness, how can we raise smart and kind kids?

The secret to raising smart kids

Here’s the Good News About Raising Smart Kids

As it turns out, we have one magic “keystone habit” as parents that will help us raise smart, kind kids.

If you haven’t heard of keystone habits before, they’re an elite category of habits that kick off a chain reaction, influencing several areas of your life at once. In other words, you can focus on just one keystone habit, and you’ll experience several positive impacts. For example:

“Keystone habits explain how Michael Phelps became an Olympic champion and why some college students outperform their peers. They describe why some people, after years of trying, suddenly lose forty pounds while becoming more productive at work and still getting home in time for dinner with their kids.”
– The Power of Habit

The best thing about this particular “keystone habit” for raising smart, kind kids is that it’s completely free, it takes just 10-15 minutes a day, and anyone can do it.

To get smart, kind kids, you don’t have to sign your kid up for expensive tutoring or have twice-daily screenings of the movie Wonder.

…

Kelly Holmes

I’m a mom of four, a Certified Parent Educator, and the author of Happy You, Happy Family. I believe if you want to nurture a loving parent-child relationship that will last into the teenage years and beyond, the time for nurturing that kind of relationship is now. As a bonus for joining my weekly newsletter, download my free cheat sheet of 75 Positive Phrases Every Child Needs to Hear, plus three important pitfalls to avoid when encouraging your child with positive phrases.

happyyouhappyfamily.com/

Want to Raise Smart, Kind Kids? Science Says Do This Every DayRead More

How to Be a Toddler Whisperer: 7 Things Your Toddler Wishes You Knew

Inside: If your little one could explain what’s going on inside her toddler brain, this is what she’d tell you. Get ready because this peek inside the mind of a toddler will turn you into a bona fide toddler whisperer.

It’s a proven scientific fact that a toddler will engage you in approximately 57 billion power struggles every day. At least half of those power struggles will set off epic toddler tantrums.

And that’s just the power struggles.

That doesn’t even account for all the other instances of that special brand of toddler fun they bring to your day, like when they color on your carpet with a Sharpie, unlace all your shoelaces and re-tie them with 20 knots, or swallow a dime that gets stuck in their throat and requires a $25,000 surgery to remove. (Ask me how I know.)

Some days, parenting a toddler feels a bit like navigating a field of landmines, while balancing a tray of full champagne glasses on one hand and wearing boots three sizes too big…with your eyes closed.

Bonus: As a bonus for joining my weekly newsletter, download a free cheat sheet of 30 simple ways to connect with your toddler and ease power struggles.

What You Should Know About the Toddler Brain

This ain’t my first toddler rodeo – my third child is in the toddler phase right now. But we just welcomed a newborn into the family, so I’m more sleep-deprived than usual. Which means my patience for those typical toddler behaviors seems to be in even shorter supply lately.

…

Kelly Holmes

I’m a mom of four, a Certified Parent Educator, and the author of Happy You, Happy Family. I believe if you want to nurture a loving parent-child relationship that will last into the teenage years and beyond, the time for nurturing that kind of relationship is now. As a bonus for joining my weekly newsletter, download my free cheat sheet of 75 Positive Phrases Every Child Needs to Hear, plus three important pitfalls to avoid when encouraging your child with positive phrases.

happyyouhappyfamily.com/

How to Be a Toddler Whisperer: 7 Things Your Toddler Wishes You KnewRead More

9 Powerful Phrases That Will Inspire Your Kid to Keep Trying—Even When It’s Hard

Inside: These are the best growth mindset posters because they help kids internalize the crucial message that putting in effort is how you grow your brain.

A few weeks ago, my 4-year-old Bailey was sitting at the breakfast table with a stack of paper, a stencil, and a bunch of colored pencils when she said something that broke my heart.

I’d been washing dishes about five feet away, so I saw her in my peripheral vision, holding the stencil to the paper with one hand and tracing with the other hand.

But then she sat back and said, “I’m not a good artist.”

I glanced up. The corners of her mouth pointed down, and her eyes were starting to fill.

This is the girl who tells me every day that when she grows up, she’s going to be an artist during the day, then at night she’s going to be Wonder Woman and fight bad guys.

But in that moment, I could see her confidence in her dreams slipping away.

I felt a tug in my chest. I turned off the faucet and dried my hands.

Settling into the chair next to her, I asked, “What makes you feel that way?”

“I just can’t do it right. Every time I try to draw with the stencil, it moves and messes it all up.” She hung her head, and I reached out to rub her shoulder.

Download: Get these fun coloring posters for your child to teach them the power of hard work and sticking with a problem.

The problem with negative self-talk in kids

The Problem With Kids Talking Like This

A little self-doubt can be healthy – as long as it drives you to put in more effort and try to improve.

But getting stuck in a negative mindset can cause you to give up on what you set out to do.

As parents, that’s the opposite of what we want for our kids. We don’t want to raise quitters who give up at the first sign of a challenge. We want to raise determined kids who work hard and persevere through challenges until they succeed.

A few kids seem to naturally learn that lesson and need no support to transform moments of self-doubt into a determination to work harder.

But after talking to my friends and reading messages from parents who write to me every day, what seems to be the most common situation is this: Our kids need our help to learn how to catch themselves in these moments of self-doubt.

They need our guidance on how to turn negative self-talk from something that makes them give up – into something positive that drives them towards success.

…

Kelly Holmes

I’m a mom of four, a Certified Parent Educator, and the author of Happy You, Happy Family. I believe if you want to nurture a loving parent-child relationship that will last into the teenage years and beyond, the time for nurturing that kind of relationship is now. As a bonus for joining my weekly newsletter, download my free cheat sheet of 75 Positive Phrases Every Child Needs to Hear, plus three important pitfalls to avoid when encouraging your child with positive phrases.

happyyouhappyfamily.com/

9 Powerful Phrases That Will Inspire Your Kid to Keep Trying—Even When It’s HardRead More

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Hi! I'm Kelly. I'm a mom of four, a Certified Parent Educator, and an author. I believe you can find happiness in the chaos of parenting life. Start here…

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