Babies

25 Best Big Sister Books to Get Your Child Ready to Be a Big Sis

Inside: With books about becoming a big sister, it’s important to strike a balance of touching on challenges but also pointing out the fun parts. Here are the most positive, heartwarming big sister books that your child will love.

Becoming a big sister is a pretty big deal. Especially if you happen to be just two years old.

You can’t even control your impulse to color on the walls, and yet all the grown-ups you love are expecting you to welcome a new little person into your family with open arms:

  • They don’t want you to act jealous,
  • They want you to understand when the baby needs all their attention, and
  • They certainly don’t want you to throw tantrums when things don’t go your way.

I’ve now accompanied three daughters on their journey of becoming a big sister, and I’ve seen firsthand that you definitely can minimize jealousy and acting out from your older child in reaction to the new baby. But to do that, you’ll need to prepare your older child for this big life change.

And one of the absolute best ways to prepare your child to become a big sister is to read her lots of high-quality books about becoming a big sister.

Notice I said high-quality.

A big sister kissing her mama's pregnant belly

The Problem With Most Big Sister Books

Unfortunately, a lot of the typical big sister books present the experience of becoming a big sister as a completely negative life change.

If those are the only books you read to your child before she becomes a big sister, she’s likely to get more stressed out before the baby even arrives.

For example, suppose you’re pregnant and every time you run into anyone you know or you encounter strangers at the grocery store, they say something like this:

Better get lots of rest while you still can! The sleep deprivation will take years off your life.

The baby will wreck your body, and you’ll never look as good as you used to.

You’ll probably get postpartum depression. It’s the worst.

Uh…thanks for the support, everyone? You’d develop PTSD before the new baby even arrived.

But that’s basically what most big sister books tell your child: Life as you know it is over. Everything you love and cherish will now belong to someone else first, and you’ll be an afterthought. But hey, time to get excited to become a big sister!

No wonder most new big sisters struggle with the transition

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36 Awesome New Mom Gifts That She’ll Actually Appreciate

Inside: If you want to make a new mom feel special, skip the flowers and give her one of these meaningful new mom gifts that will stand the test of time. Bonus: These gifts for new moms are actually for her – NOT for the baby.

Newborns need a lot of stuff. Onesies, diapers and wipes, a car seat, a diaper bag, a snot-sucking device, and on and on.

But in the rush to get all the newborn must haves on the baby’s registry, it’s easy to forget something important: The mom-to-be is in for the ride of her life.

Not only is the new mom about to go through one of the most physically painful experiences of her life, but after the baby comes, she’ll be stuck on what feels like a neverending emotional roller coaster. And it doesn’t help matters that she’ll be lucky to get two hours straight of sleep in the weeks ahead.

But if you want to support a new mom in your life by surprising her with the perfect gift, what do you get someone who’s super emotional, sleep-deprived, and has absolutely zero free time?

The most appreciated new mom gifts will make her feel loved and supported

How to Make a New Mom Feel Absolutely Loved And Supported

I’ve had four babies, so friends and family often ask me for advice on what’s the best gift to get for a new mom: flowers, a card, or…?

Because even though an industrial-sized pack of disposable nursing pads would be useful, most people want to know the best new mom gifts that will actually make the new mom feel special and loved. Not a gift for the baby or sad leftovers from the registry, but a thoughtful gift just for the new mother.

After each of my babies were born, I was lucky to receive a few thoughtful gifts that made my life as a mom easier during those early newborn days.

Those gifts weren’t the typical new mom gifts that you hear about, but they made such an impact on me that I wanted to pay it forward and share them here.

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3 Brilliant Baby Food Hacks That Will Save You Time (And Money)

Inside: If you have no time to DIY baby food, these baby meal ideas are for you. Your baby will love them, plus you’ll avoid blowing her college fund on baby food.

I want to be the type of parent who makes her own baby food.

I also want to be the type of parent who comes up with a delicious and nutritious meal plan every week to nourish my family, the type of parent who sets up art projects every afternoon to nurture my children’s budding creativity, and the type of parent who showers every day.

But I’m not.

Most of the time, I aim for the “good enough” style of parenting. I’m a recovering perfectionist, so accepting imperfection is the only way I’ve found to hang onto my own sanity while parenting three little ones. This “good enough” mindset keeps my family safe from the Incredible Hulk version of myself who comes out when anything falls even a millimeter short of the visions of perfection dancing in my head.

In other words:

  • I may not meal plan, but I have 10 perfectly nutritious recipes memorized for whenever we make it to the grocery store.
  • I may not set up creative art projects every afternoon, but if I happen upon an awesome idea on Pinterest that doesn’t need anything fancy, I’ll rope the kids into doing the project right then and there.
  • And I may not shower every day, but I do work from home so at least I’m not inflicting myself on the general public.
3 Easy Baby Meal Ideas That Will Save You Time (And Money)

But Here’s the Problem

Baby food is expensive.

Especially when you have an infant with an insatiable appetite. At the age of six months, my youngest could polish off two 4-ounce jars or pouches of baby food per meal. This was on top of nursing several times a day.

When you factor in that she had 4-5 meals a day, that meant in theory, we could go through 8-10 jars or pouches every day. Depending on your brand of choice, that can end up being anywhere from $4 to $20 worth of baby food every day, or $120 to $600 a month. If feeding your baby organic food is important to you, you’ll end up more in the $240-600 range.

Ouch.

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7 Things to Do When You’re Stuck Under a Sleeping Baby

My babies hate sleep.

No, that’s not exactly right. My babies love sleep. But after three babies in the span of eight years, I’ve lived this inconvenient truth all three times: My baby will only sleep on me.

We’ve tried it all, I promise you. And we have confirmation from two separate babysitters, both well-versed in sleep-training even the most stubborn of babies. More often than not, our babies will sleep only when held.

By baby number three, I’ve made some peace with this reality. It helps to know that by the age of two or three, my kids’ sleep sucks approximately 37 percent less. Before my littlest one was born, I also learned a few things about baby sleep that opened my eyes to how I was getting in the way of my baby’s sleep. (More on that in a bit.)

Even so, she still struggles with sleep. And I’ve come to believe that there must be something physiological about my babies that for the first couple of years, they need to sleep on or near me in order to thrive.

My Baby Will Only Sleep on Me: 7 Things to Do When You're Stuck

What I Do When My Baby Will Only Sleep on Me

All this means that in the eight years since I first became a mom, I’ve spent a fair bit of time stuck under sleeping babies.

  • With my first baby, I used the time to read the Hunger Games trilogy. (Also the Twilight series, but I’m not proud of it.)
  • With my second baby, I used the time to write on this blog.
  • And with my last baby, I wrote a book to help parents find happiness in the chaos of parenting life.

But sometimes, you don’t feel like being super productive. And for those times, I have a few suggestions for you.

Related: The Month My Baby Wouldn’t Sleep – And What I Did About It

My Baby Only Sleeps When HeldPhoto by Juan Camilo Trujillo

7 Things to Do When You’re Stuck Under a Sleeping Baby

I consider myself an expert on what to do when you’re trapped under a sleeping baby. And so the next time you find yourself stuck holding a snoozer, I got you covered, my friend.

Here’s what you do:

  1. Stare at your baby and savor this moment. Your sweet baby won’t be this tiny for long! If you do this savoring thing properly, it will use up 2.7 seconds, so let’s get to the rest of the suggestions…
  2. Make a mental list of everything you should be doing but aren’t. A sink full of dirty dishes, a leaning tower of clean laundry to fold on top of the dryer, and cat hair tumbleweeds in every corner of your house? Add them to the list! Paying off your hospital bills from baby’s birth or – more realistically – calling the hospital to negotiate a 72-part payment plan? Add it to the list!
  3. Watch a movie you’ve been meaning to watch for a long time. This is your chance for some high-quality “me time” with no interruptions, so the sky’s the limit! But you will want to keep it pretty quiet so you don’t wake the baby, so try to pick something with very little dialogue. On second thought, best to stick with nature documentaries.
  4. Read something educational out loud to your baby in a soothing tone, such as The No-Cry Sleep Solution or Go the F**k to Sleep.
  5. Perfect your phone photography skills so when your baby wakes up, you can post the most kickass baby photos Instagram has ever seen. A few ideas: a still life masterpiece of the pile of dirty diapers you’ve been collecting in the corner of the bedroom, a biting commentary on our stuff addiction as told by a collage of baby toys, parenting books, and empty Frappuccino bottles, or a close-up of cat hair tumbleweed to represent the stress and overwhelm of modern-day parenting life.
  6. Being stuck on the couch or in the bed is no excuse for being lazy. Do 200 calf raises, leg lifts, or butt squeezes. I have no idea if butt squeezes are effective, but you’re moving a muscle and that has to count for something.
  7. Do some ninja training! Slowly, ever so slowly, inch yourself out from under your baby. No, make that centimeter yourself out from under your baby. This will take you at least 15 minutes if you do it correctly. And then, at last, you’ll be free! You’ll sneak out of the bedroom, close the door so, so quietly, turn on the baby monitor, and take a deep breath. You can tackle those dishes, fold the laundry, and maybe even vacuum a tumbleweed or two. But first, a potty break while your hands are empty. And as you turn toward the bathroom…guess what? Your baby’s up! Next time, try being more ninja.

Baby Only Sleeps When Held? Here’s What Helped Me

If you were blessed with a non-sleeping baby too, you need this book by my friend Lauren: For the Love of Sleep: Practical Baby Sleep Solutions for the Everyday Mama. Lucky for me, I read this book before my third baby was born, and I was able to avoid some of the hurdles I created for myself with my previous two babies. My littlest one still needs to nap on me some days, but it’s once in a while instead of every single nap. I can do the dishes, fold the laundry, and vacuum, too. I don’t do all that, but I could if I wanted to. All thanks to this book:

For the Love of Sleep

But if you’re in a tough spot as in “I need a sleep fix right now, or I’m going to run away from my family and hide out in an Appalachian shack 200 miles from civilization,” I highly recommend this free 3-part video series from my friend Rachel. She’s had five babies in five years, so she knows what she’s talking about. In these three short videos, you’ll learn the biggest baby sleep struggles – and how to fix them starting now.

Your Turn

What’s your best tip for killing time when you’re stuck under a sleeping baby? Share in a comment below!

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The Uncomfortable Truth About Your Post-Baby Body

I gained a lot of weight during my last pregnancy. A lot.

My diet was fine, I exercised when I could, and I didn’t have gestational diabetes. Still, my weight gain was crazy high.

I talked a big game about being okay with it, and I was. I still am.

My body did exactly what it needed to do in order to grow a perfectly healthy 9 pound 3 ounce baby girl.

But here’s the problem.

It’s hard to accept 55 pounds of pregnancy weight gain when that cute baby is on the outside and it’s three months postpartum, but you still look real damn pregnant.

Not to mention I’m older this time, and my post-baby body isn’t bouncing back as fast as it did last time.

So I got a FitBit, I’m walking every day provided it’s not 100 degrees out, and we cut our pizza habit down to once a week. And I’m nursing.

Even so, that postpartum belly won’t budge.

What You Need to Know About Your Post-Baby Body

A Decision

Six weeks postpartum is about my limit for continuing to wear maternity pants. Something about pulling that big stretchy band up and over an empty, flabby belly gets depressing after a while.

But at the 6-week mark, I was nowhere close to fitting back into my pre-pregnancy clothes. So I broke down and bought two pairs of yoga pants.

Athleisure, I hear the kids call it nowadays.

Which sounds trendy and all, but it doesn’t change the fact that every single day, I wear the same freaking yoga pants.

And my shirts? They don’t fit either. Thanks to the gift that nursing brings, mainly. But also because my pre-pregnancy style is to wear slim-fitting shirts, and “slim-fitting” on this postpartum body looks a lot like “sausage casing.”

So I went and splurged on five new t-shirts at Target, $6 apiece. Sky blue, hot pink, burgundy, light purple, and dark purple. That’s the extent of variety in my wardrobe right now.

Fancy t-shirts for my post-baby bodyNote: Sky blue absent on picture day due to an unfortunate spit-up incident.

Mornings Are the Worst

I go to the closet and pull out my mom uniform.

I set the yoga pants and the cheapo t-shirt on the bathroom counter and stare at them.

I know I need to hurry and get dressed because the toddler’s been quiet for more than five minutes, and the baby in her bouncy seat is starting to fuss.

It’s past the time when we need to leave to take the second-grader to school, and I still haven’t nagged her to stop playing LEGOs and get her shoes on and brush her hair and why didn’t you give me this homework last night if you wanted me to check it?

But I stare.

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How to Keep Breastfeeding After Going Back to Work

Inside: When you’re returning to work after maternity leave, breastfeeding at work can be a challenge. Click for 6 secrets to success for breastfeeding and working.

A few months ago, a friend who was expecting her second little one asked me to write a post on how to keep breastfeeding when you’re returning to work after maternity leave.

I don’t talk about breastfeeding much here because:

  1. Nursing can be a challenge, especially at the beginning. It works out for some mamas and babies – and not for others. No need to add more stress to your life if your baby is getting the nutrition she needs.
  2. You can find plenty of breastfeeding tips out there from people who are pretty gung-ho on the matter and eager to help you.

But sometimes it can feel like all that breastfeeding advice is from folks so determined to help you that their excitement is a little suffocating.

And yet, on the other side, you have some folks who are hellbent on being naysayers. That sweet friend who asked me to write this? While she was pregnant, a co-worker told her it would be silly to even try to keep breastfeeding at work. That it “just wouldn’t be worth the trouble.”

What’s it to that person if my friend wants to give it the old college try?

Here’s what I say: Do what you want. If you want to keep nursing while you’re working, go for it. If it’s adding too much stress to your life, think about stopping. Formula will be an added monthly expense, but if it’s your sanity at stake, it’s worth it.

No guilt. No stress. Your baby will be fine, either way.

6 Secrets to Success for Breastfeeding at Work

6 Secrets to Success for Breastfeeding at Work

With both my girls, I kept breastfeeding after returning to work. Was it a pain in the butt? Yes. Am I happy I kept going past the initial hiccups? Yes. If I had stopped, would that have made me a selfish mom? Heck no.

If you want to keep breastfeeding after returning to work, here are the practical tips that helped me keep going, even when it was tough. A lot of these breastfeeding tips overlap with what you’ll hear from the experts. The difference is that I just want you and your baby to be happy and healthy – whether that means you keep nursing or switch to formula or some combination of the two.

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