Inside: As parents, we know we should limit screen time for our kids, but how? Here’s a simple trick that works. Bonus: You’ll end up with a happier kid, too.
Confession: I use the iPad as a babysitter.
When I’m trying to get my toddler down for a nap, or I need to pay the bills, or we’re on a road trip – I give my 6-year-old Abby the iPad for a while. We haven’t been officially limiting screen time because we felt like her media diet was at a healthy level.
Then last year, we noticed a disturbing phenomenon when Abby’s done with screen time, whether she plays with apps for 5 minutes or 45 minutes.
She turns into a zombie. A cranky zombie.
She whines. She pouts. Sometimes she throws full-on temper tantrums.
But that’s not even the worst part.
On road trips, one of Abby’s favorite ways to pass the time is for us to give her math word problems to solve. Like this: “Suppose you had 10 pieces of cake for your birthday party, but before the party starts your stressed-out mom eats 3 pieces. How many pieces of cake are left?”
The kid eats that stuff up. She loves it so much that I put together a road trip experiment for her, complete with math problems and charts.
Then on a road trip last year, we noticed that after Abby had some screen time, she was completely incapable of solving even the simplest math problem we gave her. It’s like her brain stopped working.
Bonus: Download a free worksheet that will help you limit screen time.
What’s a Mom to Do?
The fact that even a little bit of screen time can make my child’s brain shut down? It creeped me out.
And then I saw an article about how Steve Jobs and other high-tech executives severely limited screen time for their own kids. I wondered: What information do they have access to that the general public doesn’t?
I don’t know the answer to that, but I do know that when my kid gets too much screen time, she’s absolutely no fun to be around. As it turns out, the research shows that when you limit kids’ screen time, kids behave better, get more sleep, and score better on tests at school. Plus, kids who don’t spend every waking minute glued to a screen are much better at reading human emotions.
Still, I get a little panicky at the thought of going cold turkey with screen time for my kids. It’s super useful in a pinch.
We were already following most of the advice I found about limiting screen time for kids. I’d have to get a little creative.
How to Limit Screen Time – And Get a Happier Kid
One day, I sat down with the iPad when Abby was busy in her room. And that’s when I realized our innocuous little tablet was loaded up with nearly a hundred kids’ apps.
At night, I’m pretty sure the apps get together and multiply like the little brain-sucking Gremlins that they are.
In that moment, I decided to do three things:
- Clean up.
- Set a limit.
- Explain why.
“Abby,” I called. “Can you come down here?”
She came down the stairs and stood in front of me on the couch. “What?”
“I want to clean up the iPad a little. We have so many apps installed, I’m afraid we’re going to run out of room for new movies.” I knew that would get her – she’d watch movies 24-7 if I let her.
She sat down next to me.
“I’ll point to an app, and you tell me whether it’s fun. If not, we’ll just take it off.”
“Okay,” she said.
We cleared off quite a few that way, but I wasn’t done.
Photo by feel-the-silence“Alright, our next step is to organize the apps we have left. Have you ever noticed that some apps use your brain more, like if you have to do math problems or read a story?”
She nodded.
“So we’re going to put those apps in a folder called Brain Food. Everything else, we’ll put in a folder called Junk Food. What do you know about junk food?”
“Um,” she said. “You’re not supposed to have it very often?”
“Totally right. Because it’s not good for your body, right?”
She shook her head. She looked a little scared about where this was going.
“These apps are the same. The Brain Food apps are a good workout for your brain muscle. But the Junk Food apps – you shouldn’t be using those very often because they’re not good for your brain.”
Download: Free Worksheet: Brain Food vs. Junk Food
Moment of Truth
I made the two folders and handed the iPad to Abby. “You can tell me which folder you think each app should go in, and we’ll talk about it if I have a different opinion.”
After a few, she got the hang of it.
Stack the States? Brain Food.
Angry Birds? Junk Food.
Related: 7 Brain Food Games: The Best Educational Apps for Kids
Next Steps
Next, I needed to set a limit and explain why.
“Have you ever noticed that sometimes after you use the iPad for a while, you feel grumpy?”
She looked down at her lap. “Yeah.”
“I think it’s because you’re getting too much Junk Food. Let’s come up with a rule for when you use Junk Food apps. It should be a special time that doesn’t happen very often.”
We settled on road trips, and that’s it.
But still, I wasn’t done.
I wanted a time limit for regular everyday use.
I showed her how to use the built-in Timer app and set it to 20 minutes.
We already have a rule that she has to ask before sitting down with the iPad, but now she can use it for only 20 minutes and then she has to stop and do something else.
Related: Keep Your Kids Happy With This Road Trip Experiment
Photo by MartinaBut Did It Work?
Ever since we organized the kids’ apps into Brain Food and Junk Food and set the 20-minute limit, Abby’s mood has stopped taking a downturn after screen time.
In fact, she used to ask to use the iPad every weekend day and even some weekdays after school.
Last weekend, she didn’t ask to use the iPad once.
But do you know what she did ask for? Math word problems.
Atta girl.
Related: 24 Best YouTube Videos for Kids to Change How They See The World
A Free Worksheet to Help You and Your Child
This post includes a free printable worksheet your kid can use to decide which of her apps are Brain Food or Junk Food. (See below for the link to download it.)
Let her take the first pass, then you can go over the list together and tweak as necessary.
Here’s a sneak peek of the worksheet.
Download Your Free Printable
- Download the worksheet. You’ll get the printable, plus join my weekly newsletter! Just click here to download and subscribe.
- Print. Any paper will do the trick, but card stock would be ideal.
- Set your child up to fill out the worksheet, then go over her picks together.
Download my FREE cheat sheet as a bonus for joining my newsletter: 16 Miracle Phrases to Help You Reconnect With Your Child
Want More?
Check out 7 Brain Food Games: The Best Educational Apps for Kids for a list of our favorite apps.
Your Turn
How do you limit screen time in your house? Share your tip in a comment below!
I’m a mom of four, a recovering perfectionist, and the author of Happy You, Happy Family. Parenting is hard enough without all the guilt we heap on top of ourselves. So let’s stop trying to be perfect parents and just be real ones. Sound good? Join my mailing list and as a bonus, you’ll get 25+ incredibly helpful cheat sheets that will ease your parenting struggles.
Love this idea! I knew we had a problem when a very sleep Charlie stumbled out of his room one morning and the first thing he said to me was “can I have iPad time?”
We have no TV during the week, and limit it to 2 hours weekends. We have only just got the Ipad but so far he has to read/browse 3 books from his bookcase and read his sight words which i have loaded onto his ipad. I also try to limit it to outings or times when I am busy and just can’t sit and play with him..
What do you do with him during the week that keeps him busy?
Why does your child need to be “kept busy”? It’s ok for kids to be bored, play by themselves, read, draw, write, and just figure things out on their own. It is not your job to make sure your child is entertained at every second. Please, from teachers everywhere, let your child be bored!
Great article, pinning! I’ve noticed a huge improvement in the behaviour of my kids since I made a no screen time until 5pm rule. Interesting point about Steve Jobs.
This was such an awesome post. I love the whole story. Really useful tips for a lot of parents out there struggling with this.
I love how simple these ideas are. And they use built in features instead of requiring yet another app purchase. Thank you!
This is just wonderful. My son isn’t two yet, so we really don’t do screen time, but I’m a bit nervous on how to approach when he reaches the right age. I know it’s very easy to overdo it. I love this idea of separating into junk food and brain food- so smart! The timer idea is great. Kids like being able to set the timer themselves. They are more likely to leave without a fuss than if you just tell them (I learned while teaching kindergarten). Sharing!
I think this is a great idea. I have 6 kids…four of those being teenagers with their own electronics. It is hard for my two little guys to understand that they don’t get a device to use all the time. I started doing 30 minutes a day for my two littles. We also use a timer and it is amazing how it has stopped the BEGGING and arguing. It only took a couple times before they knew that when the timer goes off that mom gets the iPad and no more time until the next day. I do notice they are happier too! Times have changed and I never had to deal with these issues when my big kids were little. They need to have the knowledge of electronics before Kindergarten these days and my middle schoolers are REQUIRED to bring a device to school! I am glad that I can still control the amount of time my littles have on electronics so they can learn to play in the traditional way!
My ten year old couldn’t be reasoned with like this. I use ‘Screen Time Remote’ to limit his daily screen time, lock all but the ebook apps at bedtime, and then lock everything at lights out (after I caught Miss Nine playing at 11pm one night!). I also have restrictions on what apps can be used during school time, if my kids are ever allowed their android tablets in the Apple only school system.
I really like the brain food vs junk food idea. Thanks!
My 5, 4 and 18 month old boys are not plugged in at all. Mainly because I can’t afford a new device if they break it. I did let them use my tablet once, for 6 hours. The screen burned out. I’m not sure how I’ve kept them away. I’m addicted to my phone. But I read this advice because one month at this age may as well be a minute. Things change so quickly. I hope I can keep them unplugged a while longer. I’m surprised and happy with my decision.
Superhero shows here often create the monster. Those are Saturdays only. But I think I skipped the explaining step. I’ll have to do that. Thanks!
I love this post! I didn’ know about the timer app but will be installing it STAT!
Informative, useful, all-around wonderful post. Thanks for this Kelly. I’ll be sharing it with the FB community Free Range Learning!
Such a helpful strategy, I will definitely be sharing this! Thank you
We’ve started instituting a timer because I noticed the same thing – a zombified, crabby kid.
The junk food/brain food idea is a good one, too. I think I’m going to have to use that.
We already limit screen time, too! I love this idea for brain food and junk food. We cut out games altogether when I realized that my son was becoming fixated on when he would be able to play again :-( Bad news! At least it was for us.
This is great! We don’t have an i-pad or smartphone but I love how you organized this! I use youtube or DVD at home when I need a break but I do need to limit it more!
I just referenced this post again because we are bout to venture into the world of the Xbox. I still think my boys are quite young for it but I’m also getting it because it’s now work-related. :-) I plan to have the brain food vs. junk food conversation again soon. Thanks Kelly!
Curious how much total screen time you let her have. My son, 5, would easily do the 20 minutes and get off, but then he would ask to get back on 5 minutes later. How do you tackle that? Right now he is only allowed screen time in the afternoon for a set amount of time.
I LOVE this!!!! I’m a 51 yr old who has already raised 3 daughters (28,26,24), but electronics weren’t a “thing” until they got basic cell phones at age 16. Now, we are raising one of our grandsons (8 yrs old/2nd grade) and, boy, how times have changed. We struggle with this issue a lot. I take every opportunity to try different ways of “controlling” his electronic time (iPad, Xbox, etc.). Thank you for this suggestion.
I am in the same boat and I am also very interested in your replies