Kids' Activities

The Secret to Raising Your Kids to Be Kind

Inside: You want your kids to grow up to be nice people. But how do you take a kid who tantrums every 7 seconds and turn them into a kind, caring adult? Here’s how.

You want your child to grow up to be a kind, compassionate person.

At least I don’t think anyone sets out to raise a meanie.

You have this mental picture of your child as an adult – thoughtful, generous, and loved by their friends and family.

But then you look at the child in front of you.

Maybe you have a toddler throwing the tantrum to end all temper tantrums over the fact that you won’t let them stick a phone charger in the light socket. Or a grade-schooler who loses at Monopoly and flips the board over then storms off. Or a tween who rolls their eyes at 97.3 percent of what you say.

It’s not exactly clear how you’re supposed to help your child get from point A to point B.

You’re lucky if you can get them to eat broccoli, let alone grow into a mature adult who writes prompt thank-you notes and volunteers regularly just because and remembers to call their mother more than once a year.

That’s why when I came across advice from Harvard researchers on how to raise kind and caring kids, I got a little excited.

Practical, straightforward, research-backed tips on how to teach your child to be kind? YES, PLEASE.

Bonus: Download these free conversation starters that will help raise your kids to be kind.

A Fateful Night in College

One nugget of advice in particular stood out to me: “Give your child an ethical dilemma at dinner or ask your child about dilemmas they’ve faced.”

When I first read that, a memory from my college years flashed through my mind. A bunch of my friends and I sat around one night playing a board game called Scruples.

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Keep Your Kids Happy With This Road Trip Experiment

We’ve done our fair share of road trips. In the last year alone, we had six – racking up 109 hours of drive time.

In fact, right now I’m typing from the passenger seat, rain splattering the windshield and the bumpy roads of North Texas giving me a nice roller coaster effect. One-year-old Bailey is snoring in the backseat, and her big sister is zoning out on The Pirate Fairy…again.

Last year, our very first road trip as a family of four was horrible. Five-week-old Bailey screamed approximately 40 of the 42 hours we were on the road. And those two blissful hours of silence were only thanks to these songs. I wish I were exaggerating, but it really was that miserable.

So thankfully, we’ve come a long way just one year later.

A big part of that is Bailey finally learning how to relax in the car and snooze the day away.

The other part? The iPad.

The glorious, glorious iPad.

What did parents do on road trips before?

Did you have to TALK to your kids the whole time?

Sends shivers up my spine.

Bonus: Download this free printable road trip activity for kids.

The Road Trip to End All Road Trips

During a road trip, our limiting screen time rules go out the window. We let Abby watch movies, play games, draw pictures – whatever floats her 6-year-old boat – as long as she wants.

She grows tired of it eventually, so then we have to be parents again.

To stave that off as long as possible, before a trip I print off a dictionary-sized stack of coloring pages, worksheets, and other fun printables for kids.

On that fateful 42-hour road trip last year, we were about halfway through the trip back home, enjoying a rare break from the screaming.

The only thing that would keep Bailey calm was me, sandwiched between the two car seats in the back with my hips at an awkward 30 degree angle so I could fit, and my head bent down toward her face and my hair over my shoulder so she could run her tiny little fingers through it.

(I think my chiropractor gets excited every time he hears we’re planning another road trip. I’m sure I’ve single-handedly financed a boat by now.)

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The Best Summer Bucket List for Kids: 120 Awesome Ideas + 1 Miracle Hack

Inside: Don’t let your summer bucket list stress you out in the quest for a perfect summer. Use this miracle hack for your summer bucket list for kids, and you’ll maximize summer fun. Includes a free printable list of 120 summer bucket list ideas.

Bucket lists stress me out.

They’re just another to-do list, and I’ve got plenty of those hanging around not getting done.

But I want to love them. Especially the summer bucket lists.

I daydream about giving my girls a magical childhood summer, from the ooey gooey goodness of s’mores, to chasing elusive fireflies, to no longer having dirty hobbit feet thanks to the endless pool time.

Summer bucket lists promise all this, and more.

And yet, as soon as you put it in list form, I get the heebie jeebies:

Look at all those checkboxes!

How will we fit it all in?!

Kids, hurry up! We need to have fun NOW!

Bonus: As a bonus for joining my weekly newsletter, download this free printable summer bucket list for kids.

The Problem With a Summer Bucket List for Kids

Still, the idea of curating a treasure trove of joyful summer experiences? I can’t shake it.

So I did a little research on to-do lists with summer fun in mind, and I stumbled across the real reason why summer bucket lists can be stressful, especially for parents.

Because summer bucket lists are lists.

Let me explain:

  • Suppose you download one of those adorable printables you found on Pinterest of 101 summer bucket list ideas.
  • You hang the cute list on your wall, and you and the kids start by checking off a couple easy ideas you’ve already done. Fun!
  • But then you stand back and see that you still have 99 checkboxes left. Hmm.

As it turns out, when you have a list with a bunch of unchecked boxes, it adds to your stress. Not exactly the effect we’re going for when we make a summer bucket list for kids.

What’s more, even if you were to check off 50 fun summer activities – which would be a lot of summer fun and make plenty of memories for your kids – you’d still have 51 unchecked boxes staring you down.

The psychological impact of that is that you end up feeling like you haven’t done “enough” when you actually have done a whole lot.

A summer bucket list for kids should be fun, not stressful

The Secret to a Stress-Free Summer Bucket List for Kids

When you’re making a summer bucket list for kids, don’t make a list.

Think of your summer bucket list as an idea board instead. Because with an idea board, you won’t necessarily get everything done, and that’s 100 percent a-okay.

For more on why that is and how to make a summer idea board, scroll down to the How to Make a Summer Bucket List That’s All Fun And No Stress section near the end of this post. Follow those tips, and you’ll keep your summertime endeavors happy and carefree.

But first, over the years my family has been compiling one huge smorgasbord of ideas for the ultimate summer bucket list for kids. I’m going to share that list with you today, along with a free printable set of idea cards you can download and use for your own summer bucket list.

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How to Include Stepdads This Father’s Day

Inside: Looking for a heartfelt gift from your kids to their stepdad for Father’s Day? Download this free printable, help the kids fill it out, and make Dad smile!

We went to Target a couple weeks ago, and I made a terrible, terrible mistake.

I forgot to use the 100% foolproof magic trick for getting out of Target alive, i.e. with no whining or tantrums.

The reason? I was in a hurry.

What Happens When You Hurry a 6-Year-Old

It was supposed to be a quick stop to find a birthday party gift for one of Abby’s friends turning six.

In the aisle with all the kids’ craft supplies, Ty pointed to a make-your-own jewelry set for $12.

“Do you think your friend would like this?” he asked.

Abby’s eyes were on the $2 sticker books on the lowest shelf.

“Look! These are all princess stickers!”

I picked up the bead set and held it in front of Abby. “Those sticker books are kind of cheap for a gift. How about something like this?”

She picked up a sticker book. “I want to get her this.”

Why Father’s Day Is for Stepdads, TooPhoto by Kevin Dooley

I checked the time on my phone. We still had to run home, eat lunch, feed the baby, and get Abby dressed for the party. We were in danger of being way late to the party if we didn’t hurry. “No, that’s too cheap. Let’s get this.”

I threw the bead set in the hand basket and walked towards the gift wrap aisle.

Clearly, I’m an excellent parent under time constraints.

Abby didn’t follow.

I turned back. “Let’s go.” And I kept walking.

She gave in and shuffled up behind us.

With the wall of gift bags in front of us, I said, “Can you pick a color bag that you think she’ll like?”

“I don’t want to.”

I turned to face Abby. “You don’t want to? Just pick out a bag.”

“No.”

“How about this pink one? Or this one with polka dots?” Ty asked.

Silence.

We tried to get her to pick a bag about 20 more times, with no success. Because we discounted her opinion on which gift to get, she no longer felt safe sharing what she thought.

I knew I’d screwed up. But we had no time.

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20 Powerful Questions to Ask Your Kid on the Last Day of School

Inside: Use this free printable last day of school interview to capture a powerful snapshot of your child’s hopes and dreams at the start of every summer.

Every year, my family has a favorite go-to tradition on the last day of school.

We don’t post first-and-last-day-of-school photos of our kids on Facebook. We don’t fill our car with balloons for that last school pickup. And we don’t have ice cream for dinner. (Or at least we don’t have ice cream for dinner every year.)

Our one tried-and-true, never-miss-it last day of school tradition is something completely different.

Every year, we ask our kids 20 questions.

Bonus: As a bonus for joining my weekly newsletter, download a free printable last day of school interview with powerful questions to ask your child on the first day of summer break.

The BEST Last Day of School Interview

This isn’t a random game of “Twenty Questions.” During our last day of school interview, we ask our kids the same questions every year. Questions that are perfect for finding out what’s really on their minds at the start of the summer.

Questions like:

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20 Must-Ask Questions for Your Kid’s First Day of School

Inside: Use this free printable first day of school questionnaire to interview your kids every year. Later, you’ll have a collection of amazing snapshots.

My oldest daughter Abby started kindergarten this week.

I thought since she was already going to preschool every day, kindergarten wouldn’t be a big deal.

At her preschool, the kids are free to play pretty much what they want all day. Every feeling is validated by the teachers. The kids are empowered and encouraged to resolve conflicts on their own. Not a whole lot of structure and arbitrary rules.

But kindergarten?

It’s ALL structure and arbitrary rules.

How else could one adult possibly keep a roomful of 20 five-year-olds from going rogue and kicking off their very own Occupy Monkey Bars movement?

How the First Day Went

When we got home after the first day of kindergarten, Abby and I settled into the couch next to each other. I looked over at her – my thoughtful, logical, helpful, whipsmart 5-year-old girl. She looked so TIRED.

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