How to Boost Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence With the Best Secret Weapon
Some mornings before school, my daughter won’t eat her breakfast, no matter what I say.
“You’re going to be starving when you get to school.”
“This is your last chance to eat for six hours.”
“You won’t be able to focus on anything if you’re hungry.”
She’ll take a bite or two to get me off her back, but that’s it.
Or on other days, she gets home from school, grabs a book, and heads straight for a quiet spot to read, barely acknowledging me or her sisters.
In both situations, I used to needle her for an explanation: What’s wrong? Did something happen today? What are you worried about?
But that never worked, and eventually I got the message. Because when you’re in the middle of real emotional upset, you don’t exactly want someone following you around and incessantly bugging you about it.
What You Don’t See As a Parent
My child happens to show every bit of emotional upset outwardly, but every child experiences big emotions on a regular basis that they don’t know how to talk about or process on their own.
For example:
- Another kid might have said something mean to your child, and it’s been eating at her all day.
- Your child might have received a homework or test grade that made him feel like a failure.
- Her class might have been running late on their schedule today, meaning your child had to rush through lunch and didn’t get to take a bathroom break mid-day.
- He might be stressed about having to speak in front of the class soon or about a big project he doesn’t know how to get started on.
- She might have heard about a birthday party her friends are going to but that she didn’t get invited to.
Every day, our kids encounter moments like this that leave their little hearts bruised.
As parents, we typically don’t know about these moments, and our kids don’t necessarily know how to bring up what happened in a positive, proactive way. Which makes sense because some adults don’t even know how to do that!
So how can we help our kids process these emotions and move forward?
Because if I’ve learned anything from watching Frozen 42 gabazillion times, it’s that “conceal don’t feel” is not a recipe for emotional wellbeing.
And as it turns out, research shows that kids who have a healthy emotional intelligence do better in school, have more positive relationships, and develop more empathy.
Related: 150 Family Conversation Starters That Will Unlock Your Child’s Heart
How to Help Your Child Learn and Grow From Challenging Moments
Asking a direct question like, “Did anything happen today that upset you?” usually doesn’t work, and as I learned, needling your kid until they spill the beans isn’t terribly effective either.
But about a year ago, I stumbled on one essential tool for my parenting toolbox that’s helped my daughter process big and small emotional bumps in the road: journals for kids.
Journaling is a powerful tool for coping with emotions – for kids and adults – because:
- The emotional release you get from journaling can lower anxiety and stress, plus help you sleep better.
- Journaling can put you into a state of mindfulness, where your negative experiences don’t seem quite so earth-shattering.
- Writing by hand about your emotions helps you better understand and process those emotions, and it also seems to unlock the maximum calming effect related to journaling.
Not to mention journaling is an excellent (and fun) way to help your child build your writing and communication skills. Many kids get discouraged by the experience of writing in a school setting because they get negative marks for grammatical errors or misspellings instead of encouragement for expressing themselves. Journaling gives kids a positive and healthy way to express themselves without fear of doing it “wrong.”
And yet, as effective as journaling is, you can’t just throw a blank journal at your child and expect magic to happen.
Related: 7 Best Family Bonding Games That Will Help You Reconnect Quickly {Printable}
10 Best Journals for Kids That Will Boost Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence
Blank journals can work for experienced journalers, but most kids need more support for journaling to work well.
The problem is if you go search Amazon for “journals for kids,” you’ll get a whole slew of results to wade through. How do you know which journals for kids are the best ones? How do you find the kids’ journals that will actually help your child get all those emotional benefits of journaling?
In my family, we’ve taken several kids’ journals for a test drive, plus I’ve been kind of obsessive about asking friends and family if their kids use a journal, which one they use, and if their kids enjoy it and keep up with the journaling.
The list below is the culmination of our own personal experience as well as the experience of many other families – so you don’t have to wade through hundreds of Amazon reviews to find out which journals for kids are the absolute best.
1. Just Between Us: Mother & Daughter† or Between Mom and Me: A Mother Son Journal
One of the best ways to ease your child into journaling is by joining her with a shared journal. We have personally used this mother-daughter journal, and my friends with boys have loved this journal for mothers and sons.
You take turns with your child writing in this journal, and in the process, you find out what’s weighing on your little one’s heart. Of all the journals for kids on this list, this one has been our personal favorite because it gives you a magical way to get your kid to open up about what’s going on so you can stay connected.
For a “dad and me” writing journal for kids that builds the father-child relationship, check out Love, Dad and Me: A Father and Daughter Keepsake Journal and Between Dad and Me: A Father and Son Keepsake Journal.
2. Mom and Me: An Art Journal to Share or Draw with Me, Dad!
A similar journal that a few of my friends rave about is this gorgeous mom and me art journal.
One of the co-authors is a licensed art therapist, so the book includes tips on how to start an open conversation with your child, the best ways to communicate when you’re creating side-by-side, and more.
Draw with Me, Dad! is from the same publisher but written by a different author who’s a licensed psychologist.
If your child isn’t ready for a writing journal quite yet, these art journals for kids give you a fun way to dip your toe into the world of journaling for kids.
3. Q&A a Day for Kids or for Teens
This Q&A journal is another favorite in our family. You can fill it out as a family, or each child can have their own journal to fill out.
Here’s how it works: Every day, you answer one question from the book. You record up to three years of answers on the same page, which means after a year you get to see the answers from the previous year. Adorable!
This is how we started ours when we first got it:
If you love this journal idea, you can also get a version of this journal for couples and one specifically designed for moms.
4. Me: A Compendium
In this journal for younger kids, kids draw or write to fill in the prompts on each page. The illustrations are gorgeous, and the simple design makes this journal the perfect fit for preschoolers, kindergarteners, and early grade schoolers.
The prompts on each page are fun and keep kids engaged, from “This is my favorite thing to say” to “If I had a robot, I would program it to…” and “These are my top three ice cream flavors.”
After your child fills out this journal, it makes a one-of-a-kind keepsake.
5. Time Capsule
With prompts like “How to have the best day ever” and “How to fix the worst day ever,” this kids’ journal is for an older crowd than Me: A Compendium. The publisher recommends ages 8 and up, but I’ve heard from parents whose kids enjoyed this starting at the age of 6.
A few parents reported that this journal was particularly great for getting reluctant writers excited about writing, which is a fun bonus of journaling for kids.
6. Choose Kind Journal
If your child enjoyed the bestselling book Wonder or the movie based on the book, this journal is a lovely tie-in.
The journal includes daily prompts to inspire kids to “do one wonderful thing every day,” from writing a compliment for someone else on a Post-It Note, to reflecting on someone who’s taught you something you’ll always remember, to a challenge like, “How many smiles can you give out today?”
The prompts also feature quotes from the book, so this journal would be best for kids who’ve already read the book or seen the movie.
7. I Love Science
This journal is tailored to kids who like to tinker, discover, and experiment. It’s from the same author as the bestselling (and gorgeous!) Women in Science book that features 50 profiles of famous female scientists. (The journal is geared towards girls, but I know of a couple parents who got it for their boys who love science, too.)
The book includes inspirational quotes from famous scientists, fascinating infographics, and writing prompts like “What is a challenge you’ve overcome recently?”
Many of the pages include just a quote and no writing prompt, so this journal would be the best fit for a child who feels comfortable with journaling without a prompt.
8. Rip the Page!
For kids who enjoy creative writing, this journal includes writing prompts, notes of encouragement from famous authors, and fun activities for getting your creative juices flowing.
This journal will definitely get your child thinking outside the box when it comes to writing and creating. I’ve also heard from some teachers who’ve used this journal to create their writing lesson plans.
9. Journal Sparks
When your child is ready to move beyond the fill-in journal style for younger kids, this is the perfect companion to go along with their first blank journal.
This collection of creative journal prompts includes ideas for both art and writing entries. Some parents enjoy using this alongside their child to journal together – and some parents just flat-out steal their kid’s copy when they’re at school or asleep.
Pair this book of creative prompts with a blank, unlined journal like this beautiful leather journal that comes in several colors and sizes.
10. The Blank Comic Book
This blank comic book is a fun twist on a blank journal that will spark your child’s creativity – the blank panels encourage kids to design their own comic book.
This journal is especially perfect for kids who love comic books and graphic novels.
I’ve also heard from friends that these blank comic books work well for a wide age range because preschoolers can draw a story without having to write words, and teens can get pretty detailed in their storytelling.
Before you go, get my FREE cheat sheet: 75 Positive Phrases Every Child Needs to Hear
Your Turn
What are your favorite journals for kids? Share in a comment below!
I’ve always used blank journals with my boys when I get sick of nagging them or need them to hear me. Writing takes the anger out of a lecture and allows me to be mushy when I want. I leave it on their pillow and they can read the journal during a quiet time and reply if they want. This works great with teens!
I love this idea! Thanks – I’m going to steal!
which kind of journal is best for 4 year old boy
Hi Harshi! For 4-year-olds who aren’t yet writing independently, the art journals in #2 or the journal in #4 would be a great fit. :)
Hi Kelly! I’d love if you took a look at the ETTCH journal and let me know your thoughts as well! Would love to see how it compares to some of the other journals you’ve listed here!
Thanks!
Lisa
This is great. Just this school year my husband and I got my stepkids for the first time since their bio mom wasn’t being very consistent with their education. As a future teacher myself I wanted to help there sentence structure so I started a writing journal for them. I am also starting a printable one to put on my website. Its not done yet but I am super excited about it. Good job!
Thanks for this, Kelly. My son and I love journaling, which we’ve been doing on the computer so far. Your email made this look enticing. I don’t feel good about the top two being essentially “share your feelings in a healthy way with mom” or “do some token activity with dad to obligate him to engage his kids for a few minutes”. I appreciate your acknowledgment of this gap in our consumer role-driven market. Hopefully we will all start seeing and being seen as people again soon. Your work has been helpful to my family.
I agree with you 100%, Sean. Why don’t they make the same type of journal in #1 for dads?! Makes no sense to me. That’s so awesome that you and your son love journaling together!
Sean and Kelly, I see you and I hear you. I’m the author of “Between Mom and Me,” the mother son journal Kelly mentions. (Thank you, Kelly!) I think so many dads are amazing and active parents that deserve to have the opportunity to journal with their kids. So exciting news—Between Dad and Me (father son journal) and Love, Dad and Me (father daughter journal) released earlier this month. I hope they can fill that gap you’re looking for. ??
HI Kelly, Sean and Katie – I am a dad and I am a big fan of journaling (I did it for more than 30 years)… Last year, I created a journal for my kids, focused on leadership skills…it’s called “I AM A LEADER – a 90-Day Leadership Journal for Kids (ages 8 – 12)..
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1951028023/
I think it has more of dad’s perspective/take on daily appreciation/mindfulness/goal setting…hope this is helpful.
Peter J. Liang
I think this is exactly what I’m looking for for my 10 year old son. I’ve added it to my amazon cart but there aren’t any preview pages to get an idea of the content or layout.
In your email about this, you noted that your preschooler is ready for journaling. Are you using a picture journal? I have a five year old, but reading and writing aren’t skills he has yet. Thanks!
Hi Laurie! For kiddos who aren’t yet writing independently, the art journals in #2 or the journal in #4 would be a great fit. That’s what I’m planning to get my preschooler. :) Hope that helps!
I love gratitude journals :) I design a range for kids, teens and adults here in New Zealand.
I wish there were an easy way to print this article. It is excellent.
wow ! Thank you so much for this !!!
Outstanding journal.list. Thanks
Hi, I found your article when researching communicative journals. I’m looking into the Loom Journal. It’s pretty expensive have you seen it – I’d live to know your thoughts.
Hi Kelly,
I just wanted to say I love your blog! Especially this article on the 10 Best Journal for Kids. I linked to it from my related blog post (the one I added to the website field in my comment profile). It would make my day if you checked it out and maybe even shared it with your readers.
Thank you for your time and have a wonderful day!
Sincerely,
Jill (fellow AdThriver :)
I’am looking for a journal for a 10 year old who just lost lost her grandfather. He lived her family and was with her daily.
Is there a journal that may help a 10year old write experiences she d shared with her grand father she just lost?
Such an amazing list thank you! We love journaling in our house. It is lovely to see happy kids that are able to write down their thoughts from the day, we have tried a few from your list actually. I’ve come across one recently that I’m going to purchase next- The I CAN Journal- It is less costly than some of the others but looks to have similar aims- worth a go!
Which are best for my 8 year old son?
Hello, I have a nephew who is an Autistic. You may be aware that these people rarely interact and are often lost in their own world. To bring these Autistic personalities in our world calls for some real action plan ( Basically bring them in real world). Can you suggest how journaling will help them?
Hi Kelly! Andrea from Uruguay! This articule inspir3d me so much, not online as a mum, but also as a teacher.
My brain is mind mapping all kind of projects!!
I’m wondering if the mom and me journal would be something good for my almost 11-year-old daughter and myself. We had always been close until the past year she became a little distant. She also comes from a broken home and I’ve remarried. She does seem to struggle with her emotions and is quite moody-possibly hormones. I’m looking for a way to reconnect. She is a wonderful writer and artist but I’ve never even thought about journaling. I did pick up a copy of “Wreck This Journal” recently.
Thanks heaps for sharing. One of the most helpful articles I’ve read. I really appreciate it. Best of luck to you and your family.
Are we ignoring introverts here? I stopped eating breakfast at13. When I realized I was never hungry until late morning. And it was ok to be hungry during 4th period math. I enjoyed nothing more than finding a quiet corner to think or read, uninvaded by sibs wanting attention and interaction. Or to “start trouble.” And it was infuriating, when my mother noticed me quietly sitting, and decided I “needed more chores.” I was wise, analytical, self -contained and knew myself. I did not want to share my feelings with anyone. Especially my unsupportive family. I knew I was on my own, and didn’t need help from anyone. I was emotionally intelligent by nature, which I consider synonymous with maturity. But it’s challenging when society reveres busy, social extraverts, and tries to make us all fit into that shape.