How to Make Time Slow Down So You Can Enjoy Your Kids

Inside: If you’re tired of people saying, “Enjoy it while it lasts!” but still feel a bit panicky at how fast time moves, here’s how to bottle the most special moments using the best creative ways to preserve memories.

My youngest turns two this week, and I’m in denial. Because it’s going too fast. Way too fast.

She doesn’t want help getting buckled in her car seat. She can put on her own socks and shoes—on the right feet. And when I rock her before bedtime, she says, “Done rocking. Ready for sleep now.”

I should be rejoicing that after years of being pregnant and nursing and caring for infants and toddlers, I finally got a little of my “freedom” back.

But I wasn’t ready for everything to move this fast.

Forget getting your “freedom” back—how can you slow down time and bottle up these moments so you can relive them later?

Every Day, It’s Something New

Last night, we drove to dinner with all three girls in the back seat pretending to be robots, and Charlie said “Affirmative” in a robot tone with perfect pronunciation.

A few days before that, she discovered she can jump in an elevator and shake the whole thing something fierce, which cracks her up.

And before that, she put on an old princess costume (by herself) and ran around in circles in the living room, chanting, “I a princess, I a princess, I a princess.”

I got the camera out, but the video just didn’t do the moment justice.

“Maybe I’ll catch it another time,” I thought.

But I Knew the Truth

After three kids, I know there probably won’t be another time. Everything moves too fast.

One week, they’re doing something cute, and the next, it’s just…gone.

I’ll forever regret not capturing the way my oldest said “hippopotamus” when she was a toddler.

But this weekend, a moment with my 4-year-old Bailey filled me with an urgency to freeze time that I haven’t felt before.

I Didn’t Even Notice It

Bailey was waking up from an afternoon nap on the couch. I sat down near her with my back up against the couch, chatting about what we should do the rest of the day.

She reached out to my hair and started twirling it.

I flinched.

Because I realized. Ever since Bailey was a baby, she’d been obsessed with my hair. She played with it to fall asleep, to calm down, to feel connected.

And in that moment, it hit me that somewhere along the way, she’d stopped. She no longer reached her not-quite-pudgy-anymore fingers out to me, seeking comfort.

I hadn’t even noticed when it stopped. How had I missed it?

I stopped talking that day, and she did too. We just sat there while she twirled my hair, and the feeling that it was all slipping away settled in my throat. It was hard to swallow.

The realization that I’d missed the end of a special connection with my child spilled over from my cheeks to my lap.

“Too fast,” I whispered.

How Do You Bottle These Moments?

My grief over losing these small moments with my young kids hardened into a fierce resolve.

I must find a way to slow it down. Bottle the special moments.

At first, I didn’t think it was possible. I thought letting these special memories slip through your fingers as your kids grow older is just the name of the parenting game.

But now I know better.

With the countdown to my youngest’s birthday drumming in my ears, I’ve been feverishly reading everything I can about how to capture these small moments before they disappear.

Because you definitely can.

Related: How to Connect With Your Child: The Magic of the 5:1 Ratio {Printable}

But First, a Warning

Does this sound familiar?

1. You read an article about how to connect with your kids, or stop being an angry mother, or how to discipline your kids in a way they’ll actually learn something.
2. You think to yourself “That’s a great idea! I’ll try that.”
3. Then by the next day or the next week, that great idea has left your head. So you’re trudging along feeling just as disconnected or angry or powerless as before you read the article.

This is normal and expected, but I’m also going to tell you how to avoid that happening again.

Here’s what happens: You come across a great idea you’d like to try, and it’s almost like it’s in one ear and out the other. This is because it takes willpower to remember it and do it. But willpower can be unreliable because it ebbs and flows depending what’s happening and how you feel.

When you have to rely on willpower alone to make something happen, you’re putting that something at a big risk of not happening.

Your brain works best on autopilot because you don’t have to muster up the willpower to do something or remember something. You just go through your normal routine, and it happens.

So how do you get your brain on autopilot? Habits.

Below, I’ll share the most powerful habits that will help you bottle these special moments with your kids so you can slow down and enjoy your time with them.

Related: The Hair Tie Trick That Will Make You Go From Angry Mom to Happy Mom {Printable}

Whoa, Hold Up!

Don’t let the word “habit” scare you.

I’m certainly not saying you need to make these “bottle the moment” habits into a total drag like a daily exercise habit or flossing or going to sleep at a decent hour when you’d rather be binge-watching old Buffy episodes.

Training your brain to pick up a new habit can be as simple as: setting a repeating alarm on your phone to remind you at a certain time of the day, using a visual cue to remind you like a neon-colored sticky note^† or a colorful hair tie on your wrist, or writing a reminder on your bathroom mirror with window markers. (For a complete guide to using the power of habits to set yourself up for happiness, check out my book Happy You, Happy Family.)

^† This site is reader-supported. When you buy through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

Bottom line: If you find something that resonates in the list below, just ask yourself, “How can I remind myself to do this every day?”

Get Your Copy: Happy You, Happy Family

16 Creative Ways to Preserve Memories And Make Time Slow Down

Try any one of these creative ways to preserve memories, and you’ll start to quell that panicked feeling that time with your kids is slipping through your fingers. Because you actually will be capturing the sweetest moments with your kids before they disappear. It’s probably impossible to enjoy every moment, but these techniques will help you enjoy the most special moments.

But this list comes with a big disclaimer: Read through the whole list and find just one thing that resonates, and try that. If you try to tackle several things at once, it won’t work, and you’ll just stress yourself out.

With that said, this list will also help you with one more very important thing: Let’s say you’re at Target, and you find yourself reasoning with a tantruming toddler while your infant succumbs to boredom, knocking a whole display of mason jars into your cart.

Some well-meaning stranger may walk by and say, “Enjoy it while it lasts!”

Instead of using every last ounce of willpower you have left to stop yourself from unleashing a 4-letter response, you can just smile and say, “I am.”

Remember: Pick Just One to Try First!

1. Single-task—Do just one thing at a time. So often as parents, we’re multitasking trying to do five things at once, but that makes us miss these small moments with our kids. Put your phone in a drawer, forget the to-do list, and just be with your child in the moment. Because that’s when you’ll soak up the full awesomeness of your kids. If you’re like me and sitting and doing nothing drives you a little batty, focus your brain on noticing. Research shows that actively noticing new things can actually slow down your brain’s perception of time. You might:
   • Notice the adorable crease on your toddler’s pudgy wrist.
   • Notice the way your preschooler sticks her tongue out while she’s focusing on coloring in between the lines.
   • Notice the way your big kid stares off into space, probably daydreaming about homework being outlawed.
2. Ask—Ask your kids interesting questions and record their answers. For this, we use the best family conversation starters. We keep our conversation starter cards in a mason jar then every night after dinner, we ask a question, go around the table giving our answers, and jot them down in a pretty journal. What makes these conversation starters for families different from others is that they’ll get you more than the dreaded one-word answer from your kids. Whenever I feel sad about how fast time is moving, I pick up our journal and flip through a few pages…instant warm fuzzies.

3. Reflect—This pairs perfectly with the previous trick. Fill out a journal once a day with cute stories about your kids, funny things they’ve said, or sweet moments you want to remember. You can use a pretty paper journal designed just for moms, a journal for writing down what your kids say, or a journaling app like Day One. This takes just a few minutes a day to jot down a quick memory, and after a few weeks of doing it, you’ll be so glad you started. If you have a paper journal, leave it on your pillow every morning as a reminder to fill it out before you go to bed.

4. Speak—If you can’t get into writing for a few minutes a day, try using the voice recorder app on your phone to record stories and memories. This habit pairs well with setting a daily alarm on your phone to remind you.
5. Schedule a Day in the Life—Set aside one day a year, a quarter, or a month to focus on capturing all the small, quiet moments on camera. Plan on keeping your camera in your hands most of the day, and take a ton of pictures. You can always delete the stinkers later. For an extra dose of fun, turn the camera over to an older kid and let them capture moments from their perspective. For more tips on how to start this tradition, check out A Day in the Life Project from my friend Tiffany. Stick this day in your family calendar as a reminder.
6. Send a message in a bottle—On your child’s birthday, write her a letter about what she loves to do and what she’s like to be around every day. You can plan to give her all the letters when she turns 18, or you can keep them for yourself. Or if email is more your speed, you can set up an email account for your child and email her a letter every birthday.

7. Picture the future—When you feel frustrated, annoyed, or exasperated with your child (or all of the above), imagine them 10 years older. This is called mental subtraction. It works because it’s a stark reminder of what you’ll one day lose, and it will shift your perspective in that moment so you focus on what’s really important.
8. Shift your budget—To celebrate birthdays and holidays, don’t buy your kid more and more toys he doesn’t need and will get bored with in a few days. Research shows you’re better off spending your money on family vacations instead of toys for your kids. This is because after a week or two, kids get bored with the “new” toy. A vacation can be as simple as one night in a downtown hotel in the nearest city to you. No matter how long you take or where you go, vacations create lifelong family memories for yourself and your child. (But if you want to get super creative, check out my hack for getting free vacations.)
9. Pick a favorite—On the last day of every month, pick a favorite photo (or 10!) from all the photos you’ve taken on your phone or the “good” camera that month. As you review all the photos you took (and probably forgot about), you’ll relive those special moments. This is fun as a just-for-you activity and as a family effort.
10. Show them off—Devote a wall in your home to displaying prints of your favorite family photos. This one goes well with the previous trick, too.
11. Do nothing—Set aside one day a month as a family Do Nothing Day. You’ll be more likely to notice (and enjoy) the most special moments with your kids if you throw away your to-do list for a day once in a while.
12. Capture the smallest moments—Set up your video camera or phone to record an everyday moment, like a family meal, reading a bedtime story, or your kids all building an epic LEGO tower together. I got a cheap tabletop tripod and phone mount for this reason, and I love the videos we’ve captured. (Thanks to my friend Erica for this idea!)

13. Take turns—Take turns with your child writing in a journal to each other. You write in the journal, leave it on your child’s pillow, then she writes back and leaves it on your pillow. You can use any journal or get one specifically designed for this purpose, like this mommy and me journal for daughters or this journal for sons.
14. Spin a yarn—Tell your kids stories about when they were younger. This will help you remember, and they’ll love hearing stories about themselves.
15. Pretend you’re back in school—Make a family yearbook. Pick out a few of your favorite photos from the year and have them printed into a hardcover book from a company like Shutterfly. For something a little less involved, you can have a Chatbook made from your Instagram pictures and captions. Or if that’s too scrapbook-y for your taste, put together a slide show of photos, and show it at the next family event.
16. Go pro—Hire a professional photographer to take pictures of your family once a year. This can be pricey, but the photos you get will have a special place in your heart for the rest of your life. If you can’t spring for a professional photographer, ask a friend to meet you at a nearby park to take pictures of your family together—and you can return the favor for your friend and her family later.

Before You Go: The Important Piece I Missed

When you start a simple habit of capturing the most special moments with your kids, you’ll feel more connected with your kids, and that panicky feeling that it’s all moving too fast will start to fade.

But with that said, my 4-year-old Bailey taught me an important lesson I had missed through all my research on creative ways to preserve memories.

After the kids were in bed that night she randomly twirled my hair one more time, I asked my husband, “When did she stop needing me for comfort? Will she never reach for me like that again?”

“She does still need you,” he said. And he gave me a long hug.

But after a few days, she hadn’t reached for my hair again.

Then one night, I dozed off in bed next to Bailey and my oldest Abby after reading The Penderwicks at bedtime.

“Mommy?” Bailey asked.

“Mmm.” It felt so good to rest my eyes.

“Stay right here,” she said. Then she climbed over me, kneeing me in the gut on her way. My eyes popped open, and I watched her leave the room.

I glanced over at my 9-year-old, and she shrugged.

When Bailey came back, she had a comb and a brush in one little hand, and a mess of hair ties in the other hand.

She walked up to me. “Sit up, please.”

I sat up, and she climbed into bed behind me.

Then she went to work. Brushing then combing my hair. Slow, deliberate, sweet.

I closed my eyes.

Then she started giving me ponytails. And even though I lost 25 percent of my hair while she did it, I didn’t complain.

I just smiled a goofy, sappy smile.

When she was done, she picked up my hand and had me feel the random ponytails all over my head.

I turned back and smiled big. “Thank you, sweet girl. I love them.”

She lifted her chin and beamed at me.

And I realized: I can’t let myself be so focused on what used to be that I miss the beauty of what is, in this moment.

That night in my own bed with all 7 messy ponytails still in place, I rewatched that “I a princess” video of my youngest running around the living room—again and again and again.

And you know what? A quick less-than-perfect video did that special moment justice after all.

Your Turn

What are your favorite creative ways to preserve memories of life with your kids? Share in a comment below!